I saw this on a chat board I'm on and it spoke to me. I wanted to share it here. This is not my work, but it is dang funny.
Ladies Restroom Visit
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter.
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance. "
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat -- because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose that somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up.
You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. ( Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
. . .This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Gonna Make You Sweat
Yeah, I guess I'm stealing from C&C Music Factory (I think...?) with that title. It all starts with Rob picking out a sexy new elliptical Machine for our Christmas money to be spent on. Now, to be honest, I was a bit ho-hum about the purchase at first. I was completely awed by his urge to get exercised and all... but I was like drooling at the idea of a fattening dinner out or more "stuff" to add to all my other "stuff". However, if someone in my family has a hankering for getting fit, I support, dude. I even decided to jump on the bandwagon. Or... err... Elliptical. Here's where things get interesting: I.... LIKE IT! Really, honestly, truly. It makes me feel pumped. I head downstairs for my "me" time, crank up the Rage Against the Machine and let the drops of sweat fly! So, here I have finished my allotted time to become beet-red-in-the-face and sweat, and I even have enough finger strength to bang out this blog! Ok, it's a weak blog, I admit, but it's an update for all you blog-hungry fans. All two of you. Consider yourself fed. I'm gonna go pass out in the shower now.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Whoa, It's Winter
We live in New England. It's supposed to snow here. I gave up around the holidays, and resigned myself to the fact that we were going to have a brown Christmas. Recently we paid a visit to an old friend about an hour's drive from here. She had about an inch of snow on the ground. You'd think Santa himself was camped out in her back yard. The boys were salivating looking at it, and the second their seat belts were unlatched, they plunged their pudgy paws into the ice cold fluff. The excitement was pulsing around them. When Max got bored with the female chit chat and the toddlers "mine, mine" banter, he excused himself outside to throw snowballs at the house. Snow is late in coming this year. It's gone beyond "oh well" to "what the hell??". Finally, we got a dusting though. Yesterday we woke up to a few inches and I managed to get the boys out of their jammies and into clothes and socks and snowpants and hats and gloves and boots before they rushed out the door. We managed to get several runs down the hill in their sleds before Miles received several flesh wounds to the face and my toes were cold. It's the end of January and we are just now tasting this sweet sweet snow. For the love of God, what does it take to get a Nor'easter in Massachusetts??? And for those of you who gasp and say, "Don't jinx us!!"... well... JINX JINX JINX, I want snow!
Friday, January 19, 2007
Whoops-A-Daisy
Well, we begin the long process of potty training. Yes, what you see there is absolutely a little poop. I figure, better on the floor in front of the toilet than on the living room carpet, eh? It's close enough to the target. On his second try for the night, you will be happy to hear that Miley did, in fact, make the target and received much applause and hooting. There was much rejoicing. What can I say, poop makes me laugh.
Hey! I'm Alive!
Well bloggies, I am indeed alive and well. Although, "well" is a relative term, I have a chest cold that keeps me awake at night and is thoroughly irritating to me. I had experienced some technical difficulties with the old blog and thought the whole thing was lost. But, thanks to my dear friend Danish (love the name, makes me hungry) at Blogger Help, problem is resolved, blogging has resumed. Fear not, for there will indeed be more blogs!
So, tuck your tissues back up your sleeves, I have returned and vow to be blogtastic!
So, tuck your tissues back up your sleeves, I have returned and vow to be blogtastic!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Sweet Surrender
Sure, Sweet Surrender is the scent of my deodorant, but it's also an inspiration. There are many things I must simply surrender to. I have to "give".
I put up our outside Christmas lights today. Sure, some of you may wince and say I'm crazy, "Christmas already?". We like to turn on our outside lights on Thanksgiving and I was getting a start on it while Miles was napping today. I had five sets of those retro colored lights. Lights I remember from childhood. Lights that make me think of "A Christmas Story" and Charlie Brown. I love 'em, and I was stringing them on the shrubs outside, working on the final strand, when they all went out. Hmm... Chevy Chase moment you say? Why, yes it was, in fact. I was thinking "Oh God, Rob was right, I strung too many together". Nothing makes me wrinkle my nose and say shucks faster than having Rob "tell me so". He informs me that the fuse on the first set is blown and proceeds to replace it. Exactly four minutes later it blows again. This is where the "told you so" part comes in. I surrender. They are hung, they are strung, they are staying put. How we get around to powering them up for the big switcheroo on, well, we'll figure that out later. I give.
Last night we brought the boys to Build A Bear to .... well.... build a bear. They each had birthday money we set aside for this treat and I was sure they would love love love it! I had heard that this endeavor could get a bit pricey, so I waited till the birthday season when lovely Grammies and Grampas send checks. We were armed with cash and revved up to stuff the life into little bears. We got there and instantly Miles was overwhelmed and in his own land far far away. While there were about thirty different animals to choose to stuff, Miles was intently focused on a pair of socks at a nearby display. I held up three choices for him, which he looked at carefully and dropped on the floor. Hell, the socks were far more interesting! Finally, I picked a cute little dog for him that he had showed a minute of interest in. Max was armed with his cute monkey and we headed to the next phases, sounds and then the stuffing machine. Whatever we had to do, Miles was busy somewhere else, caring less what we wanted him to enjoy. Max was at the perfect age and loved every second of it. His monkey is decked out in fabulous black jeans complete with wallet chain, a fleece hoodie, sketchers sneakers, joe boxers and even his own battery operated camera phone. He was a little pissed when I made him put the safari hat and mini guitar back and pointed out loudly as we were leaving that he REALLY wanted that miniature hockey set for "Eric". Miles, well, we were lucky to get him interested in one Cookie Monster t-shirt for "Doggy" and Rob grabbed a leash for him out of desperation to get him something. We checked out and my total was $93. While Max dug it, Miles was not going to participate in my forced birthday fun at any cost. We got home from dinner and I said "Here Miley, here's Doggy!!". Miles looked at this white fluffy dog and launched him across the room with a final "NO". You just can force love. I surrender.
Today my little Miley turned two. My little baby is a baby no more. I don't know where the time went, all I know is that it kicked me in the ass on the way by. How can Miles be walking and talking.... climbing and jumping.... yelling "POOP at the top of his lungs in the grocery store...? How can he be such a little dude when it was just YESTERDAY I brought him home and watched his big brother cradle him in his arms? How can he be climbing up on the bathroom sink for a drink of toothpaste when it was just YESTERDAY that I was nursing him to sleep after a feast at his first Thanksgiving dinner? I don't know...I surrender.
Tis the birthday season here in the Jordan household. The boys have had their fair share of gifts and cake (more on the way tonight! Whoo Whoo!). Today however, there was a guest of honor at Miles' birthday. Thomas the Tank Engine. Many of you do not know Thomas yet. I admire that. I miss that, really. For Thomas has become a member of the family in some ways. Miles has become... shall we say... obsessed? He got a new train set, a Toby character from Thomas and Friends, a Thomas Aquadoodle Mat and a Thomas coloring set. There was not ONE blessed thing today that did not involve our new friend. Even the scrumptious cake on the agenda tonight is a Thomas cake. Got Thomas questions? Ask away, we are on the way to being experts. I am typing this to the faint sound of the Thomas theme song playing on the t.v. upstairs. I am drooling at the thought of eating that Thomas cake. You know what? I surrender.
I put up our outside Christmas lights today. Sure, some of you may wince and say I'm crazy, "Christmas already?". We like to turn on our outside lights on Thanksgiving and I was getting a start on it while Miles was napping today. I had five sets of those retro colored lights. Lights I remember from childhood. Lights that make me think of "A Christmas Story" and Charlie Brown. I love 'em, and I was stringing them on the shrubs outside, working on the final strand, when they all went out. Hmm... Chevy Chase moment you say? Why, yes it was, in fact. I was thinking "Oh God, Rob was right, I strung too many together". Nothing makes me wrinkle my nose and say shucks faster than having Rob "tell me so". He informs me that the fuse on the first set is blown and proceeds to replace it. Exactly four minutes later it blows again. This is where the "told you so" part comes in. I surrender. They are hung, they are strung, they are staying put. How we get around to powering them up for the big switcheroo on, well, we'll figure that out later. I give.
Last night we brought the boys to Build A Bear to .... well.... build a bear. They each had birthday money we set aside for this treat and I was sure they would love love love it! I had heard that this endeavor could get a bit pricey, so I waited till the birthday season when lovely Grammies and Grampas send checks. We were armed with cash and revved up to stuff the life into little bears. We got there and instantly Miles was overwhelmed and in his own land far far away. While there were about thirty different animals to choose to stuff, Miles was intently focused on a pair of socks at a nearby display. I held up three choices for him, which he looked at carefully and dropped on the floor. Hell, the socks were far more interesting! Finally, I picked a cute little dog for him that he had showed a minute of interest in. Max was armed with his cute monkey and we headed to the next phases, sounds and then the stuffing machine. Whatever we had to do, Miles was busy somewhere else, caring less what we wanted him to enjoy. Max was at the perfect age and loved every second of it. His monkey is decked out in fabulous black jeans complete with wallet chain, a fleece hoodie, sketchers sneakers, joe boxers and even his own battery operated camera phone. He was a little pissed when I made him put the safari hat and mini guitar back and pointed out loudly as we were leaving that he REALLY wanted that miniature hockey set for "Eric". Miles, well, we were lucky to get him interested in one Cookie Monster t-shirt for "Doggy" and Rob grabbed a leash for him out of desperation to get him something. We checked out and my total was $93. While Max dug it, Miles was not going to participate in my forced birthday fun at any cost. We got home from dinner and I said "Here Miley, here's Doggy!!". Miles looked at this white fluffy dog and launched him across the room with a final "NO". You just can force love. I surrender.
Today my little Miley turned two. My little baby is a baby no more. I don't know where the time went, all I know is that it kicked me in the ass on the way by. How can Miles be walking and talking.... climbing and jumping.... yelling "POOP at the top of his lungs in the grocery store...? How can he be such a little dude when it was just YESTERDAY I brought him home and watched his big brother cradle him in his arms? How can he be climbing up on the bathroom sink for a drink of toothpaste when it was just YESTERDAY that I was nursing him to sleep after a feast at his first Thanksgiving dinner? I don't know...I surrender.
Tis the birthday season here in the Jordan household. The boys have had their fair share of gifts and cake (more on the way tonight! Whoo Whoo!). Today however, there was a guest of honor at Miles' birthday. Thomas the Tank Engine. Many of you do not know Thomas yet. I admire that. I miss that, really. For Thomas has become a member of the family in some ways. Miles has become... shall we say... obsessed? He got a new train set, a Toby character from Thomas and Friends, a Thomas Aquadoodle Mat and a Thomas coloring set. There was not ONE blessed thing today that did not involve our new friend. Even the scrumptious cake on the agenda tonight is a Thomas cake. Got Thomas questions? Ask away, we are on the way to being experts. I am typing this to the faint sound of the Thomas theme song playing on the t.v. upstairs. I am drooling at the thought of eating that Thomas cake. You know what? I surrender.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Sadness Understood
Last Thursday morning our brother-in-law, David, passed peacefully at his home from a long illness. His wife, Sharon, had nursed him daily for months and endured an amount of stress I cannot even fathom. He leaves two boys, ages ten and six. We spent several days with Sharon and the boys trying to help in any way we could and be supportive.
What struck me is how resilient children can be. All the kids played happily together, as if it was any other weekend visit. Laughter and the normal bickering, and running around the house ensued. The adults dealt with their pain and sadness in other ways; there was plenty of beer, plenty of tissues, plenty of consoling words. I witnessed some touching moments over the course of that sad weekend. Something struck me deep, though.
Max was talking to his cousin Evan:
"Are you pretty sad about your Dad, Ev?"
"You know, his body was just wore out and couldn't hold on anymore."
"But, it's ok, cause he went up to be with Jesus."
"Hey you know what? I got a new pack of Pokemom cards we can trade!"
In the minute it took for those words to unravel on our end of the phone, I realized that kids do know what is going on. They just deal with it differently. They aren't tactless, they are honest. They are blunt, they are sincere. David's body did just wear out and David did go live with Jesus. It couldn't have been said better.
What struck me is how resilient children can be. All the kids played happily together, as if it was any other weekend visit. Laughter and the normal bickering, and running around the house ensued. The adults dealt with their pain and sadness in other ways; there was plenty of beer, plenty of tissues, plenty of consoling words. I witnessed some touching moments over the course of that sad weekend. Something struck me deep, though.
Max was talking to his cousin Evan:
"Are you pretty sad about your Dad, Ev?"
"You know, his body was just wore out and couldn't hold on anymore."
"But, it's ok, cause he went up to be with Jesus."
"Hey you know what? I got a new pack of Pokemom cards we can trade!"
In the minute it took for those words to unravel on our end of the phone, I realized that kids do know what is going on. They just deal with it differently. They aren't tactless, they are honest. They are blunt, they are sincere. David's body did just wear out and David did go live with Jesus. It couldn't have been said better.
Oh the Mystery
This morning was like any other morning. Rob was getting out of the shower in our bathroom, I was lying in bed trying to wake up, and Max was quietly playing Game Cube until it was time to turn on the news for Mommy. All was quiet from Miley's crib. Then, Miles saunters into our room with a toy, hops up on the bed and says "Pway Mommy". Rob looks confused. "How did you get out of your crib Miley?", he asks. I shrug, Max says he didn't help him and Miles is too busy with his shape sorter to be bothered by such interrogation. So, the news of the day is that my barely-two-year-old climbed out of his crib for the very first time today. That is a feat, I might add, that my eldest never bothered with, as he was supremely happy in his cribby. I will have to keep a close eye on this monkey so I can catch him in the act. Oh Lord, is it time for a big boy bed ALREADY?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Five years ago
Five years ago, my life was suddenly redirected. Five years ago I stopped being able to up and leave the house spur of the moment. Five years ago I stopped having a good night's sleep. Five years ago I started being "on call" every moment of the day. Five years ago it became socially acceptable for someone to throw up all over me without so much as an apology.
Five years ago I held a baby boy in my arms and wept at what we'd created. Five years ago I started feeling the joy of being needed. Five years ago I felt a purpose in my life for the first time. Five years ago I became a mom.
Max turned five yesterday. It was a big day! For both of us. I am a mom and I have two children! Whoa. Some days I have this overwhelming feeling that I am screwing everything up around me. That I should be doing things better, being more patient, parenting better... Then I reflect that five YEARS have passed and we are all just fine.... better than fine. We are good. I have survived momhood for five years and my little boy is happy and healthy. I never gave him a complex feeding him with bottles and he didn't die when he rolled off the bed at five months old. (YIKES). TV didn't rot his brain (yet...) and a bee sting wasn't the death of him. So far I've been able to answer all his questions without too much difficulty. So far I've been able to heal all his boo boos. I thank God that we have each other. Five years of this!
I am a mom. I have been a mom for five years. I've been blessed with love.
Five years ago I held a baby boy in my arms and wept at what we'd created. Five years ago I started feeling the joy of being needed. Five years ago I felt a purpose in my life for the first time. Five years ago I became a mom.
Max turned five yesterday. It was a big day! For both of us. I am a mom and I have two children! Whoa. Some days I have this overwhelming feeling that I am screwing everything up around me. That I should be doing things better, being more patient, parenting better... Then I reflect that five YEARS have passed and we are all just fine.... better than fine. We are good. I have survived momhood for five years and my little boy is happy and healthy. I never gave him a complex feeding him with bottles and he didn't die when he rolled off the bed at five months old. (YIKES). TV didn't rot his brain (yet...) and a bee sting wasn't the death of him. So far I've been able to answer all his questions without too much difficulty. So far I've been able to heal all his boo boos. I thank God that we have each other. Five years of this!
I am a mom. I have been a mom for five years. I've been blessed with love.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Adventures with EasyLock
You know, whenever you see something that says it's easy to figure out, easy to install, easy to do-it-yourself.... it's all a lie. Nothing is ever as easy as it's supposed to be. Nothing ever goes as planned. Nothing is ever simple and straight-forward. Oh, wait, perhaps that's just at our house.
Since we bought our home here in MA, we have dreamed of the day that we could rip up the ratty old carpet in our dining area, and replace it with something waaaay more practical and, um, clean. We planned to tackle this project last weekend and purchased our supply of laminate wood flooring. I suppose I should clarify... Rob planned to tackle this project as I am a self-proclaimed nitwit when it comes to home improvement. Seriously, I can paint fairly well and I can use a drill to install curtain rods. I do not reach beyond that scope, I know my limits. Anyhoo, Rob said "this would be easy", "should go quickly", and many other reassuring quotes that made me feel secure in starting the weekend. Friday night we ripped up said carpet. God-awful, disgusting, dirty, smelly job that was. (People, let me just start by saying, if you have asthma or allergies, GET RID OF YOUR CARPET). We had things fairly ready for the following day.
Then things got interesting. Turns out EasyLock is not as easy as we all thought. There are things that took way longer to figure out. Hallways are not easy to do. The instructions they show you are of a plain square room with no doorways or trim work. Bastards. After a whole Saturday of cursing and wrangling boards in the hallway, Rob finished a 3x5 area. Now, let me say that there were many cuts to be made and many odd sections to be finangled, it was a lot of work for poor Rob. Then, Sunday we kicked EasyLock butt. I joined in the fun because I feared Rob would torch the pile of flooring he had left. That, or let out a stream of obscenities in front of the children that would sear into their brains for the rest of their lives. LOL. I actually learned quite a lot and it wasn't so bad working as a team.
To update, Rob is now finished with the floor and all the thresholds. He just has to put trim back up and we are all done. Overall, we have faced much, MUCH worse projects that went askew, and the end product looks maaavelous dahling. There were just some things we learned about ourselves and projects that are "supposed" to be easy to install. First, it's better to be a team. Working alone can be frustrating and having a second pair of hands and second opinion is valuable. Second, never EVER listen to all the hype, it's never going to go as smoothly as they say it will (unless you are a skilled laborer). Always plan for an extra day of work even if you think it will only take you one.
So, there, that's the EasyLock story. We have done our first major DIY project here at the new house and I can already see that Rob is going to be the floor nazi about the dining room. No throwing toys on the new floor, no wearing shoes on the new floor, no horsing around on the new floor, no swearing around the new floor, no bad energy near the new floor... ummm... I digress.
One last note to all you do-it-yourselfers.... if we can do it, you can too.
Since we bought our home here in MA, we have dreamed of the day that we could rip up the ratty old carpet in our dining area, and replace it with something waaaay more practical and, um, clean. We planned to tackle this project last weekend and purchased our supply of laminate wood flooring. I suppose I should clarify... Rob planned to tackle this project as I am a self-proclaimed nitwit when it comes to home improvement. Seriously, I can paint fairly well and I can use a drill to install curtain rods. I do not reach beyond that scope, I know my limits. Anyhoo, Rob said "this would be easy", "should go quickly", and many other reassuring quotes that made me feel secure in starting the weekend. Friday night we ripped up said carpet. God-awful, disgusting, dirty, smelly job that was. (People, let me just start by saying, if you have asthma or allergies, GET RID OF YOUR CARPET). We had things fairly ready for the following day.
Then things got interesting. Turns out EasyLock is not as easy as we all thought. There are things that took way longer to figure out. Hallways are not easy to do. The instructions they show you are of a plain square room with no doorways or trim work. Bastards. After a whole Saturday of cursing and wrangling boards in the hallway, Rob finished a 3x5 area. Now, let me say that there were many cuts to be made and many odd sections to be finangled, it was a lot of work for poor Rob. Then, Sunday we kicked EasyLock butt. I joined in the fun because I feared Rob would torch the pile of flooring he had left. That, or let out a stream of obscenities in front of the children that would sear into their brains for the rest of their lives. LOL. I actually learned quite a lot and it wasn't so bad working as a team.
To update, Rob is now finished with the floor and all the thresholds. He just has to put trim back up and we are all done. Overall, we have faced much, MUCH worse projects that went askew, and the end product looks maaavelous dahling. There were just some things we learned about ourselves and projects that are "supposed" to be easy to install. First, it's better to be a team. Working alone can be frustrating and having a second pair of hands and second opinion is valuable. Second, never EVER listen to all the hype, it's never going to go as smoothly as they say it will (unless you are a skilled laborer). Always plan for an extra day of work even if you think it will only take you one.
So, there, that's the EasyLock story. We have done our first major DIY project here at the new house and I can already see that Rob is going to be the floor nazi about the dining room. No throwing toys on the new floor, no wearing shoes on the new floor, no horsing around on the new floor, no swearing around the new floor, no bad energy near the new floor... ummm... I digress.
One last note to all you do-it-yourselfers.... if we can do it, you can too.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Yes, it's true, I have THAT much money!
I do, I have soooo much money that I will throw away over a hundred dollars without a thought to a few kiddie rides, one over-hyped water ride and some darned expensive Coke. Throw in some torrential rain, a wild thunder and lightening show with four children under the age of five and you've got some FUN FUN FUN! Read the full story at Milkweed Hill!
Thank goodness we joined up with good-humored family for this outing, otherwise there is the strong possibility it could've sucked. I mean it, we had a nice steak dinner with some wine once we were all home, dry and had the kids in bed. Here's to next time Ernie and Kay! Let's do Santa's Village instead, ok?
Thank goodness we joined up with good-humored family for this outing, otherwise there is the strong possibility it could've sucked. I mean it, we had a nice steak dinner with some wine once we were all home, dry and had the kids in bed. Here's to next time Ernie and Kay! Let's do Santa's Village instead, ok?
Did I Ever Mention...
...that I have an addictive personality?? I get hooked on anything new I try. After having a relapse on smoking for the past several months, I finally did kick that silly habit of two or three sneaked smokes a day. Rob sighs with relief, for it totally disgusted him. Now, however, I find myself gripped with a new addiction. Knitting. I signed up for a knitting class for the month of September and last night was my third class. Apparently, knitting is one hot hobby nowadays. I don't know about being trendy, but I do know that I am hooked on wrapping tiny yarn around big sticks. It's very very soothing and makes a great companion to enduring Calliou for the third time of the day. I now know how to "cast on", straight knit, purl, and "bind off". I have finished a scarf, complete with fringe! I am a knitter, baby! Oh, and I'm totally serious when I say that everyone (everyone!!) is getting a scarf for Christmas this year. (evil laugh). So, now I can add knitting to my list of obsessive compulsions.... cleaning, reading, sleeping, etc.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
It's Been a While...
It has been a while, eh? I wish I could say that my life is so exciting that I got swept up in adventures and travel and I couldn't tear myself away for a moment to write about it. Bah, that ain't it. I am up to eyes in daily wrestling matches between the boys and dealing with a cat with fleas and trying to plan projects to do around the house. When I can sneak a few minutes I am buried in books, or perusing Ebay (yes, it's a sickness) or compiling a mountain of stuff for a yard sale I will probably never get around to having. That's it folks, just your basic boring stuff. I just haven't been blogging much, and I have no good excuse.
I decided though, that I better get back in gear. Pretty soon, good tv shows will be back on with the fall season and I'll be even less apt to come down here and write. I need to get into the swing of it. I'm taking a knitting class soon, too! Yes, of course I'm excited, and NO, I'm not 80 years old. I have always wanted to knit, and I just found a class today and registered. Everyone's getting scarves for Christmas!
The boys are doing well. Miles has been a very good boy and pees on the potty when we put him in front of it naked. He gets very pleased with himself once he finishes and rushes over to flush likes it's the most important thing in the world. Mr. Max is getting glasses, they should be in any day now. My darling little almost-five-year-old needs glasses already! Sniffle. Never mind the fact that both his parents are just about blind without their specs, but he's only four! He picked them out himself, and although I have a very strong suspicion he will end up looking like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, he will be soooo adorable. I am having a hard time with it though.... I got glasses when I was eight, and it changes everything... I hope he can adjust ok.
So, like I said, nothing to spectacular, just life. I will be better, readers, I promise. If Kristen can find time, I can too! Now, just wait till I get back from the town-wide yard sale day, then I'll have some stories!
I decided though, that I better get back in gear. Pretty soon, good tv shows will be back on with the fall season and I'll be even less apt to come down here and write. I need to get into the swing of it. I'm taking a knitting class soon, too! Yes, of course I'm excited, and NO, I'm not 80 years old. I have always wanted to knit, and I just found a class today and registered. Everyone's getting scarves for Christmas!
The boys are doing well. Miles has been a very good boy and pees on the potty when we put him in front of it naked. He gets very pleased with himself once he finishes and rushes over to flush likes it's the most important thing in the world. Mr. Max is getting glasses, they should be in any day now. My darling little almost-five-year-old needs glasses already! Sniffle. Never mind the fact that both his parents are just about blind without their specs, but he's only four! He picked them out himself, and although I have a very strong suspicion he will end up looking like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, he will be soooo adorable. I am having a hard time with it though.... I got glasses when I was eight, and it changes everything... I hope he can adjust ok.
So, like I said, nothing to spectacular, just life. I will be better, readers, I promise. If Kristen can find time, I can too! Now, just wait till I get back from the town-wide yard sale day, then I'll have some stories!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Speaking Up
My little Miley guy is quite the talker lately. He parrots just about every word he hears and is even developing a little 'tude that's copied from big brother, Max. If I ask him to "come here please", he will follow up with "jus SEC, mommy". I can't even have a moment's peace in the W.C. for crying out loud. I hear loud banging on the door and a wee little voice asking "WHAT DOIN MOMMY? OOO IN BAFROOM MOMMY?". It's so darn sweet, really, being able to communicate with the little guy. He's at a fun age.
Max is wrapping up a whirlwind week at Vacation Bible School this week, and Monday was a big day. We went to drop him off in a room full of new kids. He looked around, scanning the other children, the tables, the set-up. I had a big knot in my stomach, remembering my own experiences in a new situation as a kiddo. Max seemed to be fine (though I was practically in tears leaving him), and we said our goodbyes, gave kisses, and I wheeled Miley out in his stroller to the car. It wasn't until we were rolling out of the parking lot that a very upset little voice from the backseat said "UH, OH!!! IS SEAT!!!". He was emphatically pointing to Max's seat wondering why in the world we were leaving without Max. It was enough to reduce me to tears really. Not a car trip goes by without the two of them, and here is this observant little passenger telling me that I forgot one!
He's a cute one, that little Miles. Big talker, too. It's all so cute.... even though.... well, there are moments I didn't have to worry about with Max at that age. There was no older child influencing Max's vocabulary like Miles has now. There are days I just have to shake my head and shrug my shoulders and smile sheepishly at other parents when my toddler declares at the top of his wee voice "YUCKY POOPY, YUCKY POOPY, YUCKY POOPY!!". Yes, son, there are days like that.
Max is wrapping up a whirlwind week at Vacation Bible School this week, and Monday was a big day. We went to drop him off in a room full of new kids. He looked around, scanning the other children, the tables, the set-up. I had a big knot in my stomach, remembering my own experiences in a new situation as a kiddo. Max seemed to be fine (though I was practically in tears leaving him), and we said our goodbyes, gave kisses, and I wheeled Miley out in his stroller to the car. It wasn't until we were rolling out of the parking lot that a very upset little voice from the backseat said "UH, OH!!! IS SEAT!!!". He was emphatically pointing to Max's seat wondering why in the world we were leaving without Max. It was enough to reduce me to tears really. Not a car trip goes by without the two of them, and here is this observant little passenger telling me that I forgot one!
He's a cute one, that little Miles. Big talker, too. It's all so cute.... even though.... well, there are moments I didn't have to worry about with Max at that age. There was no older child influencing Max's vocabulary like Miles has now. There are days I just have to shake my head and shrug my shoulders and smile sheepishly at other parents when my toddler declares at the top of his wee voice "YUCKY POOPY, YUCKY POOPY, YUCKY POOPY!!". Yes, son, there are days like that.
Monday, June 05, 2006
A little slice of nature pie
When we moved into this house about a month ago, I zeroed in on three big overgrown ugly shrub-things in front our house. They are situated directly in front of our bedroom, essentially sealing off all light entering the room and creating a tomb-like atmosphere in there. I figured I would get around to chopping them down eventually. Then I found something. Upon opening the curtains in my bedroom one day, I discovered a beautifully crafted robin's nest snuggled in the ugly bush. It had hydrangea branches woven into it, truly beautiful. And there, in this recently built nest were three pretty blue eggs. All this took place in under two weeks! So, if anything was going to save the ugly bushes, this is the surest thing to do so. The cool part of it all is that I have my own little nature observatory right out my bedroom window!
When Rob comes to wake me up in the morning, I sit up, rub my eyes, pop my glasses on and peek out the window to check on Robbie and the Robinettes. They hatched just days ago. This morning there were three fluff balls holding their hungry beaks to the sky, waiting for their morning meals.
To my surprise, the boys really aren't that interested. Max has looked out a handful of times and Miles could care less. It's really my own fascination. Well, mine and Rosie's... I find her many a time standing on her hind legs staring out the window.
Some day my babies will be old enough to fly off and leave the nest.... sniffle. That will be a sad, sad day.
When Rob comes to wake me up in the morning, I sit up, rub my eyes, pop my glasses on and peek out the window to check on Robbie and the Robinettes. They hatched just days ago. This morning there were three fluff balls holding their hungry beaks to the sky, waiting for their morning meals.
To my surprise, the boys really aren't that interested. Max has looked out a handful of times and Miles could care less. It's really my own fascination. Well, mine and Rosie's... I find her many a time standing on her hind legs staring out the window.
Some day my babies will be old enough to fly off and leave the nest.... sniffle. That will be a sad, sad day.
Been Tagged
Well, Kay has tagged me, so I will comply and list my "favorites with kids"...
Four places I'd like to take my kids on vacation
1. Alaska
2. Iceland
3. Spain
4. Disney World
Four shows I like to watch with my kids
1. Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius
2. America's Funniest Home Videos
3. Arthur
4. Baby Mozart
Four restaurants I like to go to with my kids
1. Friendly's
2. The Haraseeket Inn (shout out to Jimmy James)
3. McDonalds (yes, that's right! They have a playland and the food is fast and cheap!)
4. Any Chinese place close by (NOTE: Eating out is not very enjoyable right now with an 18 month old. Many food objects are projectiles and much screaming occurs. This list will evolve as my youngest learns how to behave in public :)
Four things I want my kids to be good at
1. Being kind to all people
2. Sharing what you have (love and possessions)
3. Being responsible and taking care of themselves and their family (some day!!)
4. Seeing God in everything and everyone around them
Four websites I visit daily
1. Milkweed Hill
2. Big Red Blog
3. Ernesto's
4. Jimmy James
Four places I'd like to take my kids on vacation
1. Alaska
2. Iceland
3. Spain
4. Disney World
Four shows I like to watch with my kids
1. Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius
2. America's Funniest Home Videos
3. Arthur
4. Baby Mozart
Four restaurants I like to go to with my kids
1. Friendly's
2. The Haraseeket Inn (shout out to Jimmy James)
3. McDonalds (yes, that's right! They have a playland and the food is fast and cheap!)
4. Any Chinese place close by (NOTE: Eating out is not very enjoyable right now with an 18 month old. Many food objects are projectiles and much screaming occurs. This list will evolve as my youngest learns how to behave in public :)
Four things I want my kids to be good at
1. Being kind to all people
2. Sharing what you have (love and possessions)
3. Being responsible and taking care of themselves and their family (some day!!)
4. Seeing God in everything and everyone around them
Four websites I visit daily
1. Milkweed Hill
2. Big Red Blog
3. Ernesto's
4. Jimmy James
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Haircuts are from Hell
My oldest is four years old and down right HATES having his hair cut. I can do a pretty decent job with the hair trimmers and it saves me $10-12, but he throws such a fit, it's almost worth it to bring him somewhere and save myself the aggravation. Several months ago before the move I gave in and brought him to Super Cuts. I thought the stylist would be in tears by the end of it, he was such a pain. He complained that she was pulling his hair, he would cower and cry and say that she had pinched him with the trimmers. He would get out of the chair and try to slink away. He was a pain. This is all a show of course. I think Super Cuts would definitely be out of business if the trimmers pinched all the customers. He likes the look and feel of a fresh buzz, but cannot deal with the process. The problem is that he has a veritable forrest growing on his noggin and it gets downright bushy.
Rob and I have been noticing that wee beast's hair was in need of a trim of some kind, too. He has long blonde wisps that curl when he's hot or out of the bath. I love those little curly curls... sigh. But, the time had come to trim, and that is just what I did. Wee beast was first and was so enraptured with the entire process he sat like a little angel on the toilet seat and let me buzz him. Presto, he was done. Next came big beast. Not so easy. After all the tears and sweat and complaining, the boy's hair was done and the bathroom looked like a Wookie exploded in it.
I sure hope he grows out of these hair cut catastrophes. I try to put them off as long as possible, but every few months I have to suck it up and cut. Pictures coming soon.
Rob and I have been noticing that wee beast's hair was in need of a trim of some kind, too. He has long blonde wisps that curl when he's hot or out of the bath. I love those little curly curls... sigh. But, the time had come to trim, and that is just what I did. Wee beast was first and was so enraptured with the entire process he sat like a little angel on the toilet seat and let me buzz him. Presto, he was done. Next came big beast. Not so easy. After all the tears and sweat and complaining, the boy's hair was done and the bathroom looked like a Wookie exploded in it.
I sure hope he grows out of these hair cut catastrophes. I try to put them off as long as possible, but every few months I have to suck it up and cut. Pictures coming soon.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Teeny Tiny Toad
I'm sorry. I should've known that by squealing with delight and pointing you out, your morning might get a jolt of terror. I, as a human, was only trying to teach my 4-year-old about nature and the lovely fact that here in our very own backyard we could find a dime-sized frog hopping about. Little did I know that the next 30 minutes of your life would be spent squeezed in and out of a grimy, pudgy little paw, only to be dropped to safety three feet down and then grabbed back up into hand hell. I realize now that you probably wanted desperately to get away from these giagantic looming faces above you, one with a booger river and dirt smeared from eye to chin, one with cherry red cheeks and a twinkle in his eyes. You finally made your gettaway under our deck stairs, much to the dismay of cherry cheeks. I sighed with relief, though, little froggy friend, for I did not need to add frog funeral to my day's to-do list. I'm sure you have quite the story to tell your little frog family and so does my little cherry cheeks. You added an enormous amount of excitement to our day and it's but 10:12am!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
