Thursday, October 26, 2006

Five years ago

Five years ago, my life was suddenly redirected. Five years ago I stopped being able to up and leave the house spur of the moment. Five years ago I stopped having a good night's sleep. Five years ago I started being "on call" every moment of the day. Five years ago it became socially acceptable for someone to throw up all over me without so much as an apology.

Five years ago I held a baby boy in my arms and wept at what we'd created. Five years ago I started feeling the joy of being needed. Five years ago I felt a purpose in my life for the first time. Five years ago I became a mom.

Max turned five yesterday. It was a big day! For both of us. I am a mom and I have two children! Whoa. Some days I have this overwhelming feeling that I am screwing everything up around me. That I should be doing things better, being more patient, parenting better... Then I reflect that five YEARS have passed and we are all just fine.... better than fine. We are good. I have survived momhood for five years and my little boy is happy and healthy. I never gave him a complex feeding him with bottles and he didn't die when he rolled off the bed at five months old. (YIKES). TV didn't rot his brain (yet...) and a bee sting wasn't the death of him. So far I've been able to answer all his questions without too much difficulty. So far I've been able to heal all his boo boos. I thank God that we have each other. Five years of this!

I am a mom. I have been a mom for five years. I've been blessed with love.

4 comments:

Ernesto said...

Holy cow! I can't believe I didn't call yesterday! And I can't believe it's five years ago now!

Five years ago Kris and I were in Mexico City, near the presidential palace and the catherdral, in the shadow of the giant Mexican flag, calling New Hampshire on a payphone in the plaza ... to learn that Max had been born at that you were the first of us siblings to take that great, wild leap into parenthood!

Happy birthday Max, and happy birthday Cat! ('Cause we all get born into a new life the day our kids are born, right?)

Love you!

E.

JAMES BURDEN said...

This post has made me cry.. Right here in the library.. I love you and your family a lot. Give MAx a hug for me too!

Anonymous said...

Well, you were waiting for some inspiration to continue your blogging, and you seem to have found it! Great commentary! Of course, with 36+ years of momming behind me, I've had lots more chances to screw up my children's lives, and so have more regrets, but as you are finding out, parenthood is about doing the very best you can with what you have to work with, and CARING a lot! (MOM)

jen said...

that is so incredibly beautiful, truly. happy birthday to your family.